Before the newest trailer for James Mangold’s take on the hairy, Canadian hero is released tomorrow, we have a couple more watercolour style posters highlighting two of the film’s femme fatales, Viper and Yukio. I’m still wary of what’s been shown so far. Still a little too clowny, and creeping into the unwatchable X-Men Origins territory. (In case it’s confusing, the one that had Will.I.Am. in it.) The posters are decent. Yukio’s got her swords pointing in an intimidating fashion. Viper just looks slutty, though.

The Wolverine will hopefully impress on July 26, 2013.

Funny or Die released a red-band trailer for Jordan Vogt-Roberts’s film, The Kings of Summer, and wow, does it look fantastic. Nothing here that’s going to get you fired, but just having the dial on Nick Offerman turned up a tiny bit makes a world of difference.

It certainly has heart, but the crude type of humor that’s evident is right on the money. I like how the film touches on some real familial drama but isn’t too proud to throw in a masturbation joke. Find out what snake in Italian means on May 31 when The Kings of Summer arrives in theatres.

The neurotic one himself, Woody Allen, has a new film, but this one he’s merely starring in. Fellow New Yorker, John Turturro gets behind the lens for, Fading Gigolo, an Allen-esque style comedy about a guy that decides to become a professional Don Juan to help raise some money for his cash strapped friend. Interesting cast involved. Other than Turturro and Allen, Sharon Stone, Vanessa Paradis, Sofía Vergara, and Liev Schreiber are all around for what sounds to be a promising tale.

Involved in this project is Axuan Vrolijk, a location advisor on Gigolo, and a producer for some independent features.  He’s produced some outstanding swim videos (which are dear to my heart), but perhaps most importantly, he’s recently partnered with Symbol Productions, a controversial (and innovative) enterprise that’s exploring new ways of film distribution through premiering all of its content for free online.

The premise is simple. A new formula was discovered of online distribution that by supplying and controlling quality media content online for free, a profit can still be garnered. Not surprisingly, this is an idea that most larger distribution companies fear, perhaps failing to see the added value of providing an audience with free media to gain a large following and word of mouth.

Welcome to May, the greatest month of the year. These 31-days are dedicated to my sister Devon. Purveyor of fine paintings and jewelry; owner of cat and dog; lover of Yoko Ono; frequent swearer. We were in Thailand once, eating $2.99 hamburgers and drinking Beer Chang, when Devo starts going off on this rant about nothing. Her shoulders burnt, her face flushed from the sun and booze, eff this, and eff that. Every table kept turning around, but Devo just kept getting louder and louder. We became friends with a group of Australians that night, 100% due to my sister’s obnoxious sense of humour. Somehow Devo is more talented than she is vulgar. Go buy something from her site, Nervrom.

May 3
Iron Man 3

Well, that didn’t take long. The first weekend brought in a cool 173 million dollars, the second largest opening in cinematic history, trailing only last year’s, The Avengers. Won’t spend too much time on this one, as Cinema High has already written two reviews on it.

You can read those here and here.

The Iceman

The true story of Richard Kuklinski, mafia killer, family man. It stars Michael Shannon (who never ceases to freak me right out), Winona Ryder, Ray Liotta, and Chris Evans. Kuklinski was a loving husband and father, but also killed a lot of people. Here’s a super creepy quote from Kuklinski himself:

“By now you know what I liked most was the hunt, the challenge of what the thing was. The killing for me was secondary. I got no rise as such out of it…for the most part. But the figuring it out, the challenge – the stalking and doing it right, successfully – that excited me a lot. The greater the odds against me, the more juice I got out of it.”

Yeeesh. Kuklinski has admitted to murdering between 100 and 250 men (never women nor children), which seems like a huge number descrepency. He was nicknamed, “The Iceman” after he experimented placing his corpses in a freezer to hide their true time of death.

May 10
The Great Gatsby

Baz Luhman does bright and brilliant, whether it’s a Shakespeare work, or one from F. Scott Fitzgerald. Leonardo DiCaprio totally epitomizes Jay Gatsby, what with his perfectly coiffed hair, designer suits, and an endless supply of money. Leo loves women; Gatsby loves women. It all makes sense.

Aftershock (Red-band trailer)

It’s not directed by him, but this has Eli Roth’s (Hostel 1 & 2) fingerprints all over it. It’s set in Chile when a sizable earthquake kicks ass, causing things to fall and squish people. All signs point to messiness.

May 17
Star Trek Into Darkness

A follow-up to a huge hit. Benedict Cumberbatch plays the villain (Khan?) this time around, a guy who generally becomes a thorn in Starfleet’s side. Lots of cool action, but most of it feels grounded on terrain, instead of being up in the air where it belongs.

May 24
Fast and Furious 6

What started as a goofy film for guys that love tank-tops and muscle cars has turned into a pretty impressive vehicle. This series was awesome before; now they have Dwayne Johnson for the last two which only increases the action by about 30-inch biceps. Jordana Brewster, whom I’ve loved since The Faculty is back too.

Only God Forgives

A take-two from Nicholas Winding Refn and Ryan Gosling, evoking the same spirit from their last collaboration, Drive. Gosling stars as a part of a mafia family in Thailand, a family run by Kristin Scott Thomas. She looks frosty, seriously cold-blooded. What would happen if she and Kuklinski popped out a kid?

Before Midnight

One of my most most anticipated films of the year. I have loved (and still love) the first two films (Before Sunrise/Sunset) since the moment I first heard Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy wax romantic through the streets of Vienna and Paris. Incredible conversations, wonderful chemistry. Couldn’t be more excited.

May 31
The Kings of Summer

When Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally are getting you down, what do you do? Apparently run away from home and build a forest home with your best friend and an unintentional racist weirdo.

This looks to be a nice treat sandwiched between a bevy of summer blockbusters. I laughed a bunch of times in that trailer (“Kelly, a girl. That’s a pleasant surprise.”), so as long as they keep some laughs for the rest of the feature, I’ll be a happy camper.

An unstable Robin Williams, a tattooed, dark-haired Jessica Chastain, and a misleading Tom Cruise headline this week’s featured home releases.

The Good

Just kidding.

Robin Williams has paid his bills with countless comedies over the years, but an underrated part of his résumé is his ability to portray some truly sad and pathetic characters. In One Hour Photo, Williams is Sy, a photo technican at SavMart who develops (cha-ching!) a fixation on one of his customers (Connie Nielsen).

It goes to some really dark places, hinting at child pornography for one. A great performance though, certainly one of Williams’s best. It’s directed by Mark Romanek, who was behind 2010′s beautiful, Never Let Me Go.

The ending falls apart, but Mama is still a rewardingly creepy experience. Based on a short film by director Andy Muschietti, Guillermo Del Toro stepped into produce and finance a feature length version of the ghost story about two sisters who have spent five-years in the wilderness, seemingly living alone.

They’re eventually rescued by Jessica Chastain and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime Lannister on TV’s Game of Thrones) who take them into their own home, but something follows them there, an entity the two girls refer to as “Mama.” Some decent scares, acting is great. Again, the ending falls into conventionality, but well worth a viewing.

The Bad
Gerard Butler loves to confound. The guy’s got talent, but he certainly tiptoes the garbage line when it comes to picking his films. This is one that definitely should have stayed in the developmental stage. See if you can follow along. Gamer follows John “Kable” Tillman (Butler) a deathrow inmate who engages in a form of virtual reality battleground, where if you win 30 matches, you’re granted your freedom. These human avatars are controlled outside “gamers” that direct movement and decision making.

There’s also some nanites thrown in there for fun, which allow this whole process to take place. Michael C. Hall (TV’s Dexter) is the brain behind the operation. Kyra Sedgwick, Logan Lerman, Alison Lohman, John Leguizamo, and Zoë Bell co-star. I’m still trying to figure out how they booked the talent for this.

The Ugly
I saw this one a plane, so I don’t feel that badly about wasting my time with it. That said, another way to look at it is that I paid a few hundred dollars to sit in a cramped seat and further punish myself by watching a diminutive action hero punch and kick and shoot his way through some corrupt cops and a fingerless Werner Herzog.

THAT said, while I was on the plane, the flight attendant gave me three free whiskeys. Thanks Scientology!

Jack Reacher is based off of a bestselling series of novels by novelist, Lee Child. Let’s compare stats.

Literary Jack Reacher: 6’5″ with a 50-inch chest; weighs between 220-250 lbs.; ice-blue eyes; dirty blond hair.

Cinematic Jack Reacher: 5’7″ with a weird looking torso; weighs around 170 lbs. (thanks Google); green eyes; brown hair.

Reacher did have some unintentionally funny parts, though. Herzog gives a monologue about being trapped in a cold jail in Siberia or something, and having to chew off his fingers before his entire body turns gangrenous. So there’s that.

“I loved you in A Christmas Story, by the way.”

In the end credit sequence, the words, “Tony Stark will return” pop up on the screen which is appropriate, as Iron Man 3 is very much a story about the man inside his reinforced alter-ego. Since the climactic battle at the conclusion of The Avengers, Stark is at his most vulnerable. He suffers from post traumatic stress disorder, occurring from his near-death escape from the intergalactic wormhole. As you do. His panic attacks are sudden and distressing. For a man that has battled gods, swarms of aliens, and metallic monsters, a psychological disorder seems beneath him.

A new age terrorist, The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), erupts into our consciousness. Wearing robes and Ray-Bans, he confesses to a series of bombings that leave many victims, yet little evidence. Stark is also confronted by Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce), a man from his and Pepper Potts’ (Gwyneth Paltrow) past. He promises improvements to the human genome, yet, even lesser minds know there’s something sinister afoot. The story allows for many deceptions and red herrings. Some are clever, but with such a rich history of source material at the disposal, the most significant remains questionable. After his confidant, Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau) is injured in an attack, Stark issues a televised threat and is quickly answered with a volley of missiles that decimate his coastal property. This sends Stark on a personal mission, both to find the answers behind his new villain and a perhaps a cure for his own demons.

Director Shane Black made his mark in the late-80′s writing fun and cutting dialogue for fan-favorites like Lethal Weapon I and II, The Last Boy Scout, and the unforgivably underrated, The Long Kiss Goodnight. His first charge was Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, another Downey Jr. venture. IM3 follows the same cinematic approach and is unmistakenly a Black film. (Narration! Christmas!) He has turned an established action product into a detective buddy-comedy. 

Playing the role of the sidekick is Jim “Rhodey” Rhodes (Don Cheadle). Unlike Stark, Rhodey is a weapon of the government. His suit is adorned with the stars and stripes, and is nicknamed the Iron Patriot. His old moniker of War Machine tested worse with the general public. Stark’s newest invention is an armor that that comes when its beckoned, like an obedient dog. More than a few times, the “Mark 42″ flies unmanned, crashing into various things and disassembling. It’s amusing at first, but the humor wears thin swiftly. This comical aspect of Black’s vision is at the same time refreshing and frustrating. Tony Stark is the perfect vessel for Black’s talented mind, but too often the plot becomes overly jokey and goofy. When a rogue has dragon tattoos on his chest and literally breathes fire, a line into absurdity has been crossed. 

It can be argued that it was Downey Jr. that has led to this ongoing Marvel juggernaut. In 2008, the actor was very much an afterthought through various run-ins with authorities and mediocre choices. Downey Jr.’s snark and presence fit perfectly with Tony Stark’s ego and bravado. Both were compensated with a career resurgance and a box-office haul of half a billion dollars. Other characters from the universe followed, a character reboot of the Hulk, plus the much anticipated introductory appearances of Thor and Captain America. While each character fared well, it was Iron Man that stood above the rest* when it came to reception. Here, Downey Jr. is his usual charismatic self. His Stark spends a lengthy portion of the film removed from his outer shell. He speaks to it like it’s a real person. This displacement allows for more face-time, and for others to don the iron apparel. The overabundance in this regard is troublesome.

*None of these individual efforts of course hold a candle to the behemoth that was The Avengers. It raked in an absurd 1.5 billion, and while it was a culmination of The World’s Greatest Team Up, Tony Stark/Iron Man was undoubtedly piloting the ship. Audiences have come in droves for his snappy dialogue and one-liners, hurling insults at friends and enemies alike. Downey Jr. has been rewarded handsomely for his efforts–50 million alone for The Avengers on a back-end payout.

Tony Stark lives an extraordinary life. For such a succcessful and impenetrable figure, he remains isolated. At the end of Iron Man, he stepped into the limelight and announced his secret identity to the world, perhaps as a way to form any type of collateral connection. This third installment has brought about a form of extreme escalation. Dozens of Iron Men litter the sky, each with their respective factors. One has jackhammers for arms; another has a hoist on its back. As Marvel movies go, the climactic battle is visually impressive, but once again, the ending in an Iron Man feature collapses under its established weight. When the fight for survival is superior being versus superior being, the importance of the characters’ humanization gets lost in the shuffle.

Production Notes: Directed by Shane Black; Produced by Kevin Feige; Written by Drew Pearce, Shane Black; Starring Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Guy Pearce, Don Cheadle, Ben Kingsley, James Badge Dale, Rebecca Hall, Jon Favreau; Distributed by Walt Disney Pictures Studios

Ahh, to be a fly on the wall at the Marvel Studios office. Once can only imagine the conversations that led to the release of Shane Black’s Iron Man 3. It’s true that Iron Man 2 slightly underperformed, both financially and critically, but considering the miracle that Jon Favreau had achieved with the franchise up until that point, the decision to replace him (or not pay him enough to return) for IM3 was a confusing one. On top of that, they opted to bring in yet another out of the box helmer.

Shane Black, best known for his legendary screenwriting (Lethal Weapon 1 and 2; The Monster Squad; The Last Boy Scout; The Long Kiss Goodnight), but had only directed one film, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. (Seriously, if you haven’t seen this movei, go do so right now. Why are you still reading this? Go see it.)

Lack of experience aside, the Marvel head honchos were sweet-talked into believing Black was capable of doing something astouding: continue the most innovative superhero franchise in town, up the ante of the biggest non-James Cameron film of all-time, and do so in a fresh way, all the while learning on the job. They very clearly did not want another CG Ironman fighting another guy in a metal suit. So, here’s the spoiler alert: mission accomplished.

IM3 is an energy machine. If Robert Downey Jr. and Black had an actual arc reactor powering their noggins, they could not have been any more on top of their game. Every shot and every frame of this film has something witty, sharp, and original going on. The action works in a way that no Marvel movie has had before. Black has found a way to remind the audience that Tony Stark has emerged as the real super hero of this franchise, not his costumed alter-ego.

Not to mention this is the funniest movie I’ve seen in years, comedy or otherwise. The humor is organic and flows from start to finish. The exact same synergy that Black and Downey Jr. captured in KKBB is front and center here, only amplified by the fact that both actor and director never forget to use the surreal environment to their comedic advantage.

Now, there are many bold choices made here and not all fans are going to love them. There is a twist with the villain that nobody will see coming, that will be debated by comic purists for years to come. The second act sticks out a bit as Tony goes through his personal odyssey to basically get his balls back after a monumental ass-whooping. This portion of the film drags a bit and can seem a little out of place. That being said, one thing I enjoyed about this film, and most modern Marvel films, is that the creatives haven’t been afraid to shake up the storylines a bit. There have been so many incarnations of these characters and stories over the years that it allows for Black, Favreau and Joss Whedon (director of The Avengers) to dip into a variety of wells and create something new and exciting. If you’re looking for a direct adaptation of a particular arc, go watch a Sin City, or a 300. These movies have become their very own monster, and are better for it.

The biggest fear about the hiring of Black was that he had no experience with the technical side of things, and fortunately, that has become a non-issue. Where he truly excels, however, is with actors and dialogue. Every single character in this film is well hashed out, from Favreau’s Happy Hogan, to Guy Pierce’s Aldrich Killian. Black knows that if a character appears in a film, they should have some meat on their bones. Look for Ty Simpkins’ scenes with Downey Jr. to stand out, and I have to say this looks to be the most fun that Sir Ben Kingsley has ever had on film. No exaggeration.

Finally, yes, I saw it in 3D, and no, I’m still not a fan. There are a few brief moments where it actually brings something to the experience. It helps to make the audience feel as overwhelmed as Stark in the helicopter raid scene. At this point, Iron Man has defeated an entire alien armada, so losing a fight to three helicopters is a tough sell, but the 3D does help to create the sense of chaos that Tony needs to be engulfed in.

I won’t go on about every beat of the film; that’s for you to enjoy in the theater. The real story here is, yet again, Marvel has taken a chance on a small budget, dialogue-driven, and story-motivated director and come out better for it. Keep up the good work, boys.

Let’s talk about sex, baby. Never one to shy away from controversy, Lars von Trier–the guy who helmed films about Björk, depression, and child loss and genital mutilation–has a new film coming out, but it sounds like you’re going to have to be able to handle Shia LeBoeuf in weird positions if you want to watch.

Once more starring Charlotte Gainsbourg (Antichrist, Melancholia), Nymphomaniac explores the erotic life of Gainsbourg’s Joe, who is found beaten in an alley by Stellan Skarsgård. It features an eclectic cast: LeBoeuf, Christian Slater, Jamie Bell, Connie Nielsen, Willem Dafoe, Jesper Christensen, and Uma Thurman, amongst others.

Two cuts of the film will be released, with one being significantly explicit. Rumor has it you see LeBoeuf’s LeBeef. Nymphomaniac has a May 30 Danish theatrical date, with a stateside debut shortly thereafter. The new one-sheet is below.

Lets start first with the premise. Deep-sea aliens surface are wrecking havoc on the world. To fight this menace, humans build enormous mechanical creatures that connect with their dual human drivers by a sort of cerebral bond. Then they play Dance Dance Revolution and punch and shoot lasers and missiles.

Here’s some footage from Guillermo Del Toro’s newest that premiered at the recent WonderCon. There are some incredibly wild scenes here. I watched the two plus minute trailer a few times now, and something new pops up that I missed before. I get the feeling I’ll have to visit the theatre more than once as well. There are some great shots of the ferocious looking kaiju, which appear to come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. I have the over/under for money shots at 7.5, and I’m leaning towards the over. Going to be tough to beat the 2,500-ton robot pummeling a monster with a tanker ship.

Pacific Rim arrives July 12, 2013.

“The bike’s part of the family.”

Harper Lee famously wrote, “You can choose your friends, but you sho’ can’t choose your family, an’ they’re still kin to you no matter whether you acknowledge ‘em or not, and it makes you look right silly when you don’t.” In The Place Beyond the Pines, Luke Glanton (Ryan Gosling) is a nomadic shadow, a folk hero of the eccentric. His absurd clothes and chaotic tattoos tell the story of his life and his process. His introduction is a close-up of a toned torso; the camera follows closely behind as he makes his way towards his motorcycle and a death-defying stunt. The anonymous crowd cheers. This place and these people are his kin.

His makes his money by spinning around metallic spheres, yet, his life is truly thrown upside-down by Romina (Eva Mendes) who reveals to Luke that he has unknowingly fathered a child with her. This news prompts a change in his life, but his reaction seems impractical. This is a man who has used his mystique to bed a variety of women in countless towns. Luke slowly indoctrines himself in Romina and his son, Jason’s life by purchasing gifts and attending his baptism in a way to make up for lost time. He bombards them with attention, but this newfound need for responsibility comes across as unfounded.

Unable to provide consistently, Luke befriends Robin (Ben Mendelsohn), a local mechanic and ex-con. Robin jokes that with Luke’s skill set he should be robbing banks. It’s not a very funny joke. Luke eventually relents and a local branch goes down almost too smoothly. It’s not long before greed replaces ambition, and he’s on the prowl for multiple targets in one day. Luke seemingly commits a lifetime of bad decision in a few short hours. This leads to a confrontation with officer Avery Cross (Bradley Cooper), a young policeman whose face and record are as clean as his freshly pressed uniform.

Pines is told in three narratives. The first is Luke’s; the second, Avery’s. The latter butts heads with Deluca (Ray Liotta*) a fellow cop at his precinct. Deluca’s motives are soiled with indiscretions and bullying behavior. He and Cross are polar opposites, like the sides of Two-Face‘s silver dollar. It is through a series of actions where Avery attempts to climb the corporate ladder, going to places he’s not entirely comfortable.

*LIOTTA DOESN’T HAVE THE LOOK OF AN MANIACAL MAN. HE IS THE LOOK. IT’S HIS STEELY GAZE, HIS PLASTERED FACE, AND THE PITCH PERFECT VOICE THAT TEETERS BETWEEN WHINY AND SERENE. LIOTTA HAS ALSO WRITTEN THE BOOK ON HOW TO PLAY THE DIRTY COP. INCLUDING THE FOREWORD AND THE AFTERWORD. AT HIS BOOK RELEASE, HE WOULD SIGN IT, “FUCK YOU — RAY LIOTTA”, THEN PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE WHEN YOU WENT TO SHAKE HIS HAND.

Although the transition between Luke and Avery’s story is absolutely flawless, it’s not the case as the story pushes even further ahead. Leaping large distances in time can be a tricky thing. While Pines‘s account is undoubtedly strong, it loses significant momentum when the words, “Fifteen-years later” are sprawled across the screen, and we’re now following the teenaged lives of Luke and Avery’s sons, Jason and AJ (Dane DeHaan, who is exceptional; and Emory Cohen, who is exceptionally irritating). It eventually gets to its desired destination, but for some precious time, one wonders why we left such a fruitful period to begin with.

First and foremost, this is a story of fathers and sons, and if nothing else, a terrific character study on the ramifications of connections (or lack thereof). How some choices made intimately affect the existence of another. Thankfully, Pines is much more than that. Director Derek Cianfrance opened eyes with 2010′s Blue Valentine, a painfully absorbing film dealing with the intricacies of commitment. That too starred Gosling; both roles demanding a monumental amount of immaturity to succeed.

The cast across the board is fierce. Mendes is one notable who spans the entire chronicle; hers and Gosling’s chemistry is what anchors the film. She is in many ways helpless. A single mother thrust into an unwanted situation, yet, unable to entirely escape the destruction that put her in that position to begin with. Unhappiness flows through each and every character, however. Cianfrance’s hasn’t learned (or perhaps he’s unwilling?) how to please. He more than makes up for this with his ability to incapacitate.

The Place Beyond the Pines is a consequence, and in that, Harper Lee’s text rings true. It’s how we are raised who we surround ourselves with that will ultimately lay the groundwork to the people we will inevitably become. Blessed to a life of privilege and opportunity, or forgotten, and doomed to replay the sins of our predecessors.

PRODUCTION NOTES: DIRECTED BY DEREK CIANFRANCE; PRODUCED BY LYNETTE HOWELL, SIDNEY KIMMEL, ALEX ORLOVSKY, JAMIE PATRICOF; WRITTEN BY DEREK CIANFRANCE, BEN COCCIO, DARIUS MARDER; STARRING RYAN GOSLING, BRADLEY COOPER, EVA MENDES, DANE DEHAAN, EMORY COHEN, RAY LIOTTA, BEN MENDELSOHN, ROSE BYRNE, BRUCE GREENWOOD, MAHERSHALA ALI, HARRIS YULIN; DISTRIBUTED BY FOCUS FEATURES